An Addict Holds My Heart

Simply put I fell in love with a recovering addict and stayed. Through our journey of tremendous highs and scary lows I found myself looking for answers online. Searching things like “loving an addict” and “am I enabling”, waiting for the many opinions and thoughts to fill my screen and soon my head. Too often the message was targeted to save yourself and get out. Although this may be the answer for some its not for all of us. Some of us are in, caring for ourselves and standing by our partners all at the same time. It’s not easy but no one can convince me he’s not worth it.

This blog is place to share my thoughts and hopefully spark conversations that provide support for anyone searching for answers or wanting to share their voice. If you take nothing else from this blog know you are not alone. There are so many of us with the same thoughts, worries, celebratory moments, heartaches and breaks and most importantly hope.

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5 thoughts on “An Addict Holds My Heart

  1. Hi there, My name is Natasha, I am the creator the addiction recovery blog, http://www.MaintainingMiracles.com. I have been wanting to write a post on as you say “loving an addict”. As a recovering addict, I just have to tell you that I respect you for standing by your partner’s side through thick and then because I of all people know that it is not easy. I’m sure you have been through hell, perhaps more so than your partner. You are right, in searching for advice, most in the same situation would run as far as they could and never look back. You must really have a one of a kind, true love, in order for you to stay. I hope that you and your significant other make it in this world and that they have the power to stay clean, if not for themselves. Than for you!

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  2. I am new to the world of “loving an addict” During my ninth month of pregnancy I found out my husband was using cocaine. His family asked me to hide it because they thought they could “cure him.” So I lied, I lied to family, I lied to friends, and most of all I lied to myself. It wasnt until our son was born and things still didn’t change that I finally woke up and said, you’ve got a choice to make. I left with our son and came home to my safe zone, my parents. I told him he had to choose rehab or we were gone. He is currently in rehab, day 13 today. I’m going through a roller coaster of emotions, but I know his battle is much worse. Our son turned a month old this past Tuesday and will almost be two months before my husband is able to leave rehab. I’m still angry and scared, but I’m glad he’s getting the help he so desperately needs and so am I. We’ve only been married a year(we dated for almost six year before marriage), but I believe the addiction was his real wife. His addiction was who he looked forward to seeing and spending time with every night. I’m excited for the person who will come out of rehab, I am committed to helping him through this new road that is his life, for the rest of his life. I can’t be done with him, he’s my husband, my best friend and the father to our son. I am so glad I came across your website and I hope you can offer any type of advice you may have for loving an addict.

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    1. I don’t believe my previous comment went through. I am new to the world of loving an addict. During my ninth month of pregnancy I found out my husband was addicted to cocaine. His family asked me to hide this because they thought they could heal him. So I lied to everyone, myself included. I ignored signs because who wants to be nine months pregnant for an addict. It was until our son was born that my eyes were truly opened. When our son was two weeks old I left my husband and came home to my parents. I told my family the truth and let my husband know that without rehab he would lose his family. He decided to go to rehab and is currently there now, day 14. He missed our son during one month, but I know he’s working on becoming a better person for our baby boy! I’m committed to helping him through this new reality. I’m scared to death, but i truly believe this man is my soulmate. We’ve only beeen married a year, but we’ve been together for over six years…he’s my best friend and I just want him to realize how amazing he is. I’m so glad I came across your blog! Some of your entries are so familiar I could’ve written them myself. I to on a road of recovery and always will be and your writing has really helped me the past couple of days.

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  3. I’m so sorry Kat that you had problems getting this message through. Staying strong is so hard with all the good you have with a new child it’s important that you and him find a path to recovery that is a healthy and happy situation for all of you. Be sure to take care of what you need including finding the right outlets. Mine happen to be a blog. I find comfort and strength in communicating openly. Please know there are others out there (here) with similar concerns and struggles. I hope my words and comments of others help you know you’re not alone.

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